Missionary Carmen!

Only a week has gone by since my last blog and I am already writing another one. I am so proud of myself. Usually it takes a lot of effort to write or find time to write. I wanted to do this so my blogs aren’t so long.

This week was crazy and busy like always. Monday and Tuesday were so busy I barely had time to eat. I am teaching a lot of classes and loving it. The kids are behaving more and more. At first I looked like Mussolini up there, but have started warming up to them little by little. The kids are so fun! Classes are always so interesting because there are lots of words they can’t pronounce and I almost explode into laughter. They look on their faces when they see me smile is priceless.

Working with the Internas (girls from the boarding school) is I would say one of my favorite things about being here. They all have bad home situations and are Hogar girls who just haven’t been rescued. I love working with them. They have so much hurt and pain and yet they have so much love to give. I love all their little drama too.

On Thursday Kathleen paid us another lovely visit. She came with a lady and 4 teenagers. These teenage girls were anything but ordinary. Since they were 11 they had been raising money for a baby orphanage (Hogar Fatima) here in Bolivia. They raised over 30,000 dollars. I was so impressed by these girls. Most teenagers at home just worry about their new gadgets and clothes and forget to look outside themselves. These girls are an inspiration to many others.

The lady that accompanied them was a Salesian volunteer 14 years ago. Hearing her stories and experiences, was also very inspiring. She was also the mother of 3 of the girls. She volunteered for two years at Hogar Fatima. She was 24 and single at the time. She fell in love with one of the babies there and adopted her. Yes this lady is AMAZING! The girl she adopted (I am not sharing names to respect their privacy) is now 16. It is so cool to see what a difference adoption does for a kid.

Anyone who has worked at any orphanage has in some way or another wanted to adopt or kidnap some of the kids we work with. This lady actually did what most of us dream of. I often wonder how these kids might be and to actually see the impact it has on them many years later is so rewarding. Because I have actually seen the other side of the issue.

Being here for 2 years makes you in a way “jaded”. You tend to just mold yourself to life here. You tend to forget what reality looks like. It’s until someone comes with fresh eyes that you become aware of the poverty and situation we live in. I constantly have to remind myself to see the world I am living in, with my heart. At times I can get so wrapped up in the culture and myself and tend to respond just like another Bolivian. I tend to forget that pain and suffering should not be part of someone’s daily life. I forget this because here it seems that everyone lacks love and happiness all the time. I thought last year I saw this so much because I lived in an orphanage. Now that I am out with “civilization” I can see this is the case for many people here.

I want to share with you some stories that are so common and often go unspoken. Yesterday during recess one girl came up to me. She asked me if I could give her some advice. I said of course. I was a little surprised because like I said before I look like a roaring lion in my classes. I was so moved that even though I looked so mean and horrible she approached me. As soon as I asked her how she was doing she began to cry. I had never seen this girl before in my life, yet she was so desperate to be heard and listened too, she needed someone to talk to.

She told me about her home life and how much she hated living there. After hearing all that went on in her home I began to see why she hated it so much. Her tears didn’t stop until the class was over. Recess ended and I told her to meet me after class. We talked for a longer time and I could see how much this girl just needed love and attention.

Then the day before one of the Internas got into a verbal fight with a girl and she was crying in her bed inconsolably. This is her first year at this school. She came here to change. She said she really wanted to make her mom proud of her. Her mom lives in another country and her dad has a new wife and family. She related the pain of not being accepted by this girl to the rejection she felt with her own parents.

Talking to the Sisters here, they talk about every student in a very personal matter. They know where every student lives and know their home situations. They tell me that almost every student has a horrible home life. No wonder school is not a priority! How do you show a student who is hit and degraded on a daily basis to memorize the ABC’s in English?

As missionaries what we all share as a common factor is that we have constant opportunities to be the superhero. We live in a constant life of need and we are needed beyond our capacities. I think I take this for granted. One day will come when my day will be meaningless and I will remember how much meaning a day holds here. So much happens that I think for our body to survive it suppresses or denies all the emotions. If the body processed everything that happens and stops there I would sink in a huge depression and despair. I feel like I live moment-to-moment and I just leave the rest up to God. I try to do His will in everything and I know He is the only one that could truly heal all the wounds.

There are days where I get so homesick it hurts. Being away from everything that is familiar and comfortable is challenging. But if going through this helps me to relate to one of these little ones, then I will suffer whatever comes my way. I miss my nieces and nephews so much! But I try and give that love to my students. I miss my siblings more than they will ever know, but I use the advice and love they gave me to be an older sister for those who need it most.

I am so lucky to be able to be here and share this experience with all of you. Thank you for always supporting me and reading about my journey. By you reading their pain and suffering is not meaningless. Through all the people I meet God is transforming me into a new creation.  I could not be where I am today if every single one of you hadn’t contributed to making up who I am today. Thank you!

Teacher Carmen!

Wow! Where do I even begin? Ok so I am now in Okinawa. I have just moved into my “official” room. I will be living by the parish by myself. My two fellow site partners (Michelle and Susan) will be living in the volunteer house, a block away. I feel so lucky to have a community again! I am so lucky I live and work with two people who share the same values and outlook on life. That is a big part of mission work.

Me, Michelle, and Susan

Here are some of my responsibilities: 

Teaching at the Japanese school (12 classes, 1^st through 8^th grade).

Teaching at the Bolivian school (20 classes, 9^th through 12^th grade).

Watching the girls from the boarding school (making sure they do their homework).

Visiting communities (Going out the rural areas that are extremely poor, this is by far my favorite part of my duties here).

Teaching Catechism (At the home parish and in the communities on weekends).

Driving the Sisters (Driving to and from the communities and anywhere else they want and need me to go).

Washing the truck (Self explanatory).

Translating letters for sponsors (this feels like counting sand).

Doing random things all day.

As you can see I will be really busy. Yet I am so happy to be here. Classes have started already. Everything is still chaotic and badly organized. At least at the Bolivian School. The Bolivian school is called San Francisco Xavier (SFX). The shirts we wear are white polo’s with the initials SFX in the front. It looks like they say SEX because of how the F is written. I still have to look twice every time I see it.

The first day of classes was just celebrations and singing of all different kinds of Anthems. First they sing the National Anthem, then the one for the school. The rest I don’t remember. They have one for everything; teachers, parents, students, and many more. All of the kids know them by heart.

Going between the Japanese school and Bolivian school is like going from night to day. At the Bolivian school the kids are more savage and barbaric. There seems to be a common understanding, and that is to disobey and create chaos. I am currently teaching the high school in English. I have to go in the classroom looking like King Kong for the kids to somewhat behave. I feel so blessed to have the language and so I can be respected somewhat more than others. I haven’t plucked my eyebrows so I can look scarier, but I think I just succeed in looking uglier. I usually feel like the principle from the movie “Matilda.” I wish I would be the cute little teacher that just warms your heart, but if I act like that the kids will eat me alive.

The Japanese school is another story. There I am a teacher’s assistant. So the real teacher takes care of all the real stuff and I just help out. The classes are filled with ten or less well behaved students. They all do their work and are a teachers dream. They do as their told and are very bright. The little kids are so cute and melt my heart.

The volunteers are also in charge of watching the girls from the boarding school at night. There are 13 of them and they behave pretty well. It is really nice to be with them because they kind of remind me of the girls from the Hogar.

Our girls performing at Hogar Don Bosco 

The day before school started was the feast day of Saint Don Bosco. There are tons of Salesians here in Bolivia so this is a big celebration. In Santa Cruz (the state I live in) there are tons of Orphanages within an hour’s drive. Once a year they all get together for the feast of Don Bosco. The kids dance and sing in front of all the other kids. There are over 3,000 kids in attendance. It is both heart breaking and moving to see this. I love going to these reunions because my priorities are quickly put back into order. I also love going because our girls always put on a dance that they had been working so hard on. The dance is usually inappropriate but I support them nonetheless. Seeing their faces light up when they dance is priceless. Seeing all those broken families makes me be thankful for mine. Seeing the smiles on the kids who have lost everything and yet they feel they have everything; is so humbling.

All the volunteers at the retreat:
Left to Right
Mary Pat, Johanna, Andrea, Me, Monica, Marcos, Amber, Nicolas
Bottom Left to Right
Susan, Angela, Michelle and Melia

The first week of school was so irregular and crazy, that we were able to take a trip to Cochabamba. All the SLM volunteers from Bolivia got together for a retreat. It was so nice we were able to go. This was the first time I had seen this done. The retreat was awesome! We stayed in a very nice place and Amber and Mary Pat did awesome with the preparations for food and accommodations. I couldn’t believe how well organized it was. The food was delicious. I had gotten sick while I was there so I missed out on a lot, but I was able to be there for the most important talks. The retreat was much needed for me. Some really good reflective questions were brought up. It was nice to have the retreat between my transitions of sites. It was also great to be in the presence of so many great people.

During the retreat I got to speak to my Brother Bear, which was another highlight. I had been yearning for a talk like the one we had, and it was awesome. I will be farther away from him now but I hope we still can see each other often.

This week we had a visit from a past volunteer from Okinawa; Kathleen Curran. Kathleen is amazing! She is like Oprah. She runs a house for girls who don’t have the means to go to college and she pays for everything. She supports them financially and emotionally. It is so great to see the work she is doing. She also helps other kids achieve their dreams of going to college, but can’t afford it. She is literally making a difference in the world.

Kathleen was a volunteer here in Okinawa 10 years ago. She had not been to the volunteer house in a long time. Seeing her reaction as she went in to a place she called home for 3 ½ years was priceless. Her expression was that of someone who visits the house they had in their childhood, and memories and emotions come up with every part of the house. We had dinner and talked forever. It is so amazing to see someone who does so much for the good of humanity.

Overall I love it here. I can tell God definitely wanted me here in the first place, but had to learn some lessons in another place. I feel right at home here. Although I still struggle with my emotions when I go to the Hogar, I have a sense of peace in knowing that I am exactly where I need to be.

Being here has also given me a new respect for teachers and the education system. I will go more into that later. But for now just thank God for living or being part of a country that is 1^st world.

Now for some funny stories:

As you know I live with Susan and Michelle. They are both very sweet and gullible. If you know anything about me is that I prey on people like that. It’s like I have my very own entertainment source, where the entertainment never ends. I am constantly scaring and teasing them. My favorite happened two nights ago. Susan said she felt air in her ear. So I did the most logical thing I knew for that. “El Cono!” Yes I know my family is cracking up right now. El cono is a home remedy that my mom used on us growing up. What it basically consists of is, making a newspaper in the shape of a cone and putting it in the ear. Then you do the most practical thing, and light it on fire. I still can’t believe Susan let me do it. Two cones and 50 matches later, she still felt the same. You can take the girl away from her Mexican customs but can’t take the Mexican customs away from the girl.

Another favorite of mine is one that happened to Michelle. If you don’t know Michelle she is… well… really hard to describe. In short I love her and if she is around there is no need for television. Talking to her is like someone changing the channels mid-sentence. She is always so filled with energy and craziness. We were standing outside the volunteer house when her face turned very serious and she quickly runs to the sink and swings her leg up. Fire ants were all over her feet and were crawling up her legs. She kept making the funniest noises and saying the funniest things that I melted into laughter. I knew it wasn’t the moment to laugh because she was in real pain, but my laughter turned into a compulsion. When the ants started getting higher and higher she quickly ran to the shower.  I of course followed with a parade of laughter. Her skirt was flying everywhere and she did what looked like a dance in the shower. She closed the door. When she came out I was still in a laughing euphoria. I can’t believe they have to put up with me a whole year.